| Now you know I'm procrastinating...
Girlfriend 6.0 vs. Wife 1.0
Comparative Trial
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Last year a friend of mine upgraded from GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0
and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources available
for other applications. He is now noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child
Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this
particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation,
though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the
nature of the application.
Not only that, Wife 1.0
installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization, where
it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications
such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to
run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they
always worked fine before). During installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as
to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and
BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each
passing day.
Some features he'd like to see
in the upcoming wife 2.0.
- a "Don't remind me again" button
- a Minimize button
- An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option
to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other system resources
- An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow
the system's hardware probe feature to be much more useful.
I myself decided to avoid the headaches associated with Wife
1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 7.0. Even here, however, I found many
problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 7.0 on top of Girlfriend
6.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 6.0 first. Other users say this is a long
standing bug that I should have known about. Apparently the versions of
Girlfriend have conficts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would
have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall
program for Girlfriend 6.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of
the application in the system. Another thing -- all versions of Girlfriend
continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to
Wife 1.0.
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Bug Warning
Wife 1.0
has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling
Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself.
Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.
Bug work-arounds:
To avoid this bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and
never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of
similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may
affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.1 via a UseNet
provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can
accidently be downloaded from the UseNet.
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Tech Support Suggestions
These are very common problem men complain about, but is
mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 6.0
to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a Utilities &
Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is indeed an operating system and
designed by its creator to run everything.
It is unlikely you would
be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 6.0. Hidden
operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 6.0 to emulate Wife
1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend
6.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.
Some have tried to install
Girlfriend 7.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original
system. Look in your manual under "Warnings - Alimony/Child support". I
recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.
I suggest installing
background application program C:\YES
DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0
myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and
problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action
will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to
give the APOLOGIZE command before the
operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as
you take the blame for all the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great
program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to
improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K.
Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This
is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
damage to the operating system.
Best of Luck,
Tech Support
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I need to study. But as suggested earlier, it's 2 PM, and I'm in bed.
